To The Sanctimonious, The Judgmental, The Holier Than Thou Parent: Fuck You

I am a parent.

I am the parent of a 14 year old genius smart ass, a 7 year old autistic child who resembles Tarzan, and 3 year old pain in the ass pug.

I am not afraid to admit that there are moments where it f*#%!@$ sucks. I am not ashamed to admit there are sometimes I wish I wasn’t a mom and that I’m tired of living this life. That I wish I was free again to do whatever I want, whenever the fuck I want. I am not afraid to admit that I’ve sometimes felt my kids are a$@!?*%$!

I’m not embarrassed by the fact that sometimes my ass has wished I lived on a fucking island.

Wanna know why? Because I’m fucking HUMAN. The thoughts I just expressed are HUMAN. I’m not a goddamn robot. I have feelings, and not all of them will always be pleasant. Parenting is not EASY. It makes you want to pull your hairs out!

If you say otherwise and are a parent, you’re a part of the problem. You’re either fake or pay other people to do your parenting for you. I don’t care who you are, if you can sit there and say none of what I just said has ever crossed your mind, you’re lying.

You’re straight up full of shit.

If you aren’t a parent and are reading my words, think I’m a demon because of them, you can’t speak on an experience you know nothing about.

I dont give a fuck if you’re a baby sitter, you have a degree in whatever has to do with children, if you’ve been working with disabled children for whatever amount of years. Do what I do 24/7 (I am poor and literally never vacation), then come talk to me about how pleasant, peachy keen and easy it is, how it’s been nothing but a dream. Kiss my ass.

There is nothing wrong with admitting how hard and frustrating parenting fucking is. How it will drive you to the point of tears from time to time.

Sanctimonious parents make me ill. Sanctimonious people make me ill. If you think I’m sanctimonious, your ass knows nothing about me and clearly does not read my blog.

Sanctimonious people don’t admit to defeat and fault. Holier than thou people don’t own their fuckups.

They are all about maintaining this fake ass image to look perfect. The people who try the hardest to look perfect are the people who are usually the worst parents.

You don’t realize the damage you cause when you make a parent feel like shit about being straight up regarding how hard it is. Being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, and if a person is opening up to you about that, they are looking for support. They are looking for validation. They are looking for compassion, for empathy.

You think parents already don’t feel like they don’t do enough? You think parents aren’t already hard on themselves, feeling like shit about themselves? Feeling guilty for finding it difficult and for having those thoughts?

The LAST thing a parent needs is to be SHAMED for having a moment of weakness. You are literally CONTRIBUTING to how badly they feel, and more than likely making them feel WORSE. How is that helpful in any way?

You create isolation. Making people feel like they have no one.

Y’all are the probably the same fuckers contributing to mental illness, making people feel like shit about that too. No one wants to be upfront, because they are afraid of what YOU, the JUDGMENTAL , the SANTIMONIOUS, the TRUE HOLIER THAN THOU will say and think about them.

Meanwhile, you ain’t shit. You’re one of us, struggling just as much as us.

If your ass got off your high horse, we could support you as well, because we all know that the most judgmental people are the most miserable people with the lowest self esteem.

Those who feel the need to critique everything and everyone, those are the ones who feel like garbage about themselves.

People who are happy look to support others, to show others love. They inspire and look to show others the silver lining in life. They don’t go around, pointing out all the flaws with the intent of making you feel bad and guilty.

If you cut the shit out and humbled yourself, you could receive love and heal too.

However, you can lead a horse but you can’t force them to drink.

You wanna know why I dont feel bad about the thoughts I’ve listed? Because I have nothing to prove. Because my children KNOW I love them. Why? Because they FEEL it.

They feel it when I sit with them and talk to them about LIFE and LOVE. When we TALK about intimate matters and have heart to heart conversations.

When they KNOW they can make themselves vulnerable with me. They know I am not going to judge them, that I accept them for who they are, that I support them and want them to do, look and wear what makes them happy and feel good about who THEY are, regardless of what ANYONE thinks.

They can tell me what they feel because they know I’m a safe space. They know that I respect them, because they are human beings.

They know I encourage them to speak their minds, their hearts and to stand by their truths because I remind them that they matter.

My son may not be able to speak to the fullest capacity, but he feels me intuitively with him when I’m hanging in his room, when we are working on potty training, when we listen to music, when we sing and dance together. Those moments are priceless.

I’m there at every school meeting. I’m right there with those teachers as they teach me how to dress him, brush his teeth, how to read into his body language and needs, the latest advances he’s made. He knows I love him when I clap for him, hug him and tell him how proud I am of him.

I dont NEED to PROVE what I feel for my kids to anyone with my WORDS.

MY BOND with my kids, the TRUST my children have for me, my PRESENCE and SUPPORT during the hard times… that shit speaks for itself.

Parenting is more than providing the physical. One day, they will become adults and they will be able to provide for themselves.

Kids don’t look back and feel connected with you because you put a roof over their head. You’re not special to them because of that. That’s not what makes you memorable. Anyone with money can do that.

Why do you think so many rich kids hate their parents and bonded more with their nannies? A lot of those kids treat their parents like shit, but are entitled and will ask for money with the same mouth they disrespected them with. Because the parent has always felt money was the answer to everything, they hand it over. You can’t buy your child’s love and trust. Money isn’t the answer. It’s not enough.

Parenting is about BONDING and making your kids feel you are PRESENT. Making sure they FEEL you LOVE them.

That they can come to you with ANYTHING, with no judgement. They know that if I’m telling them something, if I’m reprimanding them, I am not demeaning them. I come from a place of true, pure LOVE.

That right there is what matters. THAT IS LOVE. Not what the fuck I feel, think or express in moments of frustration. Any parent or person in general could kiss my ass if they think otherwise. I probably wouldn’t like your fake ass anyways.

To my daughter, if you’re reading this (your ass doesn’t even need me to say this, because you’re blunt as f$!@ as it is)

Never be afraid to be you. Never be afraid to be true to yourself. Never be ashamed of your thoughts.

“Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes”

⁃ Robin Sharma

I thank every person who has ever judged, shamed, angered, hurt or betrayed me. I got everything off my chest and my ass actually feels better. You give me so much writing material and inspiration than you probably wish to. You’re the ones who keep this blog interesting. Love you 😘

Thank you for reading ❤️

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