No One Gives A Fuck About Brain Flu

An episode of mania or depression feels like being sick with the flu. 

When you have the flu, your body goes out of whack. Your body felt great yesterday, today you ache all over. Your temperature was normal yesterday. Now you’re burning up like an oven. Your nose was capable of breathing in fresh air yesterday. Today, it’s clogged, runny and in pain from sneezing and wiping your nose. Your throat and lungs were fine yesterday, now the congestion is thick and you’ve coughed to the extent of vomiting. Your throat now feels like it’s been dragged against sand paper. 

Except this time, the flu is in your brain. Everything that could’ve functioned yesterday, does not today. You were energetic yesterday, today you are lethargic. You were sharp, ambitious, and funny yesterday; and today, a complete lack of focus and apathy. You could’ve felt ecstatic yesterday, yet feel the level of sadness felt when losing a loved one. You could’ve loved yourself and looked forward to the future yesterday. Yet today, hate every fiber of your being and wouldn’t give a damn about what’s to come. You could’ve felt so blessed to be alive yesterday; Today you are planning your suicide. 

Except when your brain has the flu, it doesn’t go away in about 5-7 days. You don’t know when brain flu will go away.  A day, weeks, months… Whose to say? Also, brain flu WILL come back periodically. It’s inevitable. 

When you have the flu, people feel sympathy for you. They are empathetic and compassionate. They encourage you to rest. They offer to come to your home to help you. Even cook and clean. If you need to throw up, your hair is held back. Your medicine is given to you while you rest in bed. People concern themselves about you. 

When your brain has the flu, no one cares. They assume apathy is laziness. That being withdrawn and socially anxious means you’re arrogant. When you are feeling hopeless, mentally drained, and self hatred, that you’re exaggerating, cynical and making self deprecating jokes.

Finally, when you’ve lost all will to live because your symptoms won’t go away or got worse, they will label you selfish or tell everyone they loved you so much. Yet, the last time they called you was 4 years ago. 

Imagine constantly being kicked in the gut while having the flu. Being looked at with disgust and being told to “Suck it up.” That’s what it feels like when someone has brain flu. 

That’s where we are in life. That is the extent of  our education and concern with mental illness. That’s the limit of our evolution. How does that make you feel?

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